Here she is, my beautiful daughter, my Martha. She was born on at 11:53 on the 3rd of August 2006, after thirteen hours of labour, and two and a half hours of the pushing part, to the tune of (I shit you not) Sam and Dave’s soul classic: “hold on, I’m coming!”

For people who care about these kinds of things (and there are a lot of them): she was big for a girl, at eight pounds and thirteen ounces, she had a full head of red hair and blue eyes.